Tears

To me, emotions are like little personal compasses that help us drive our lives by pointing at right and wrong.
If it feels right, then it is right, If it feels wrong, then it is wrong.

Reading and using those little compasses is much harder than using the North/South magnetic needle kind, because they are subjective and easily manipulated. You may recall that after a few conversations with the Emperor, Darth Vader's emotions moved him the wrong way.

Emotions are felt as physical sensations: your bowels ache, you lose your breath, your heart runs wild, and your throat goes dry. I will not bore you with the details, mainly because I don't understand them, but tears are one of the ways your conscience tells you things about you. You know ... things.

I could tell you about my tears, when they come, and what they mean, but I guess that is a little too personal to be shared and understood.

Fungus

Intent

Whether I want it or not, I guess at the intention of a speaker behind his words, but I try to remember that those are my guesses, and not the speaker's intentions.

Those guesses become part of my mental model, and I use them to predict behaviour.
The first sketches are very rough ... for people I've interacted with only a few times, I use quick and standard labels, and I slowly improve my labels with detail (new data and guesses) about relevant things that --in my mental model-- make each individual different.

I try to remember that those labels don't describe or determine the individual.
They are not reality, but my view of reality.

I see it as some sort of scientific theory that explains the known facts, and is helpful to predict results, but may be proved wrong at any time by new data.

Fungus

Mirror'd

In good things and in bad ones too, when you admire or despise another person, you are probably looking at your own image in the other person's face ... as in a mirror.

Fungus

Reflection

Reflection is like looking at myself in the mirror.
It is doing something and watching myself as I do it.

It is a source of continuous and informed feedback. But only if I know what I want to see in the mirror. Only if I have the courage to see myself as I am.

Easier said than done.

Fungus

Mirror

A good friend asked me what are my top three pain points, and how do I deal with them.

I've never read Schiller, but Isaac Asimov in "The gods themselves" quotes him as saying that: "Against stupidity The gods themselves Contend in vain."

My nominees are:
Third place: Stupid peers that are so stubborn to open their eyes (and ears) to understand my point of view. Stupid peers that don't support my hidden agenda.

Second place: Stupid bosses that do not express themselves with enough clarity that I understand what they want me to do. Also stupid bosses that freely (of their own free will) believe that I want to do what they want me to do.

First place. Me.

How can I get around the pain point which is me?
By looking inside and laughing at what I find.
Once I solve this small problem, I'll tell you what to do about the other two pains in the neck.

Fungus