Lets suppose that...
1. My self esteem is an indicator of how well I am doing.
2. I am doing well if I add value to my community.
My self esteem can be expressed as the quotient of the value I have added to the community divided by the value that I reckon I should have added. If I am as good as I can be, my self esteem is 1.00 (or 100%). If I did not make my best effort to prepare my class, then my self esteem is hurt, and I may get 0.95.
Self esteem (aka conscience) is the measure of what I do compared with what I should do.
Subjective? You bet!
If my Project-to-Live includes respecting others, and I don't respect them, my self esteem lowers.
The late Mr. Alphonse Capone's Plan-to-Live included zero tolerance for people who did not pay on time. Late payments would have affected his Plan to Live, and his self respect (and his self esteem) would have lowered.
Fungus
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Monday, June 29, 2009
Kindly refrain
In a recent conversation, a good friend suggested that if we carried one random act of kindness, the result would be wonderful, and it set me going ...
Somehow, this idea of kindness seems to me to be less than it takes. Also, the idea of acting randomly, when we are equipped to act intelligently does not make much sense.
Kindness does not happen among equals.
It's done towards the weak, the poor, the lower chastes. The lord may be kind to the serf, but the serf cannot be kind to the lord.
I suggest that we should carry all our actions with respect. And be consistently kind to our pets, baby seals and whales.
That would not bring Heaven on Earth, but would make for healthier communities. Which is the reward I would expect.
Fungus
Somehow, this idea of kindness seems to me to be less than it takes. Also, the idea of acting randomly, when we are equipped to act intelligently does not make much sense.
Kindness does not happen among equals.
It's done towards the weak, the poor, the lower chastes. The lord may be kind to the serf, but the serf cannot be kind to the lord.
I suggest that we should carry all our actions with respect. And be consistently kind to our pets, baby seals and whales.
That would not bring Heaven on Earth, but would make for healthier communities. Which is the reward I would expect.
Fungus
Monday, April 13, 2009
Acceptance
Birds of a feather flock together.
I like to be around people who look like me. I don't like to be around people who don't look like me.
Oops... Looks ain't everything... let me rephrase that.
I like to be around people who share my world view. I don't like to be around people who don't share my world view.
That's a preference, not a limitation.
How can I get them to do what I want?
Oops... let me rephrase that.
How can I influence and lead them?
Should I send people who are different to the back of the bus?
Should I wear a sheepskin or imitate the duck call so that they let me approach them?
Should I try to make them into my image so that I can like them better?
I believe that to make friends or business associates it is more sensible to let them know who I am, and understand who they are. Show our different world views. And find some common ground. Then we can develop mutual trust. I believe that cats and dogs can agree to collaborate if they have a shared goal. They don't need to like each other.
I don't want to get people to do what I want. Much less by lying to them. I want us people to open our eyes, understand who we are without embarrassment, accept our differences, and get to work in the design and construction of a healthier community.
Fungus
I like to be around people who look like me. I don't like to be around people who don't look like me.
Oops... Looks ain't everything... let me rephrase that.
I like to be around people who share my world view. I don't like to be around people who don't share my world view.
That's a preference, not a limitation.
How can I get them to do what I want?
Oops... let me rephrase that.
How can I influence and lead them?
Should I send people who are different to the back of the bus?
Should I wear a sheepskin or imitate the duck call so that they let me approach them?
Should I try to make them into my image so that I can like them better?
I believe that to make friends or business associates it is more sensible to let them know who I am, and understand who they are. Show our different world views. And find some common ground. Then we can develop mutual trust. I believe that cats and dogs can agree to collaborate if they have a shared goal. They don't need to like each other.
I don't want to get people to do what I want. Much less by lying to them. I want us people to open our eyes, understand who we are without embarrassment, accept our differences, and get to work in the design and construction of a healthier community.
Fungus
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Collaboration
We play two kinds of games.
The zero sum game is the kind where you have only one prize and all contestants fight to get it. It is a game where the winner takes it all and all the other players lose. The kind of game we are used to seeing in the sports screen and in the movies. Most people use this metaphor to describe the business world. The hero skilfully steals the treasure, gets the girl, and lives happily ever after. Hail to the victor.
Big thrill. Very popular in some parts.
The other kind is less thrilling.
According to Hollywood, it's not interesting, and according to Wall Street, it's not worth the effort.
Collaborative games, are based on the idea that if the players work together, the prize can be made bigger, and there will be enough for all. Sir Thomas More, in his "Utopia" described an imaginary society based on collaboration.
Not possible, says Hollywood. It's a jungle out there.
Red in claw and tooth.
Ruth Benedict in "Patterns of Culture" describes a living society built on these principles. She coined the word "synergy" for this kind of collaboration.
The word stuck, but the idea did not. Most business management training in the last 20 years use this magic word: "Synergy...", they say, "is the art of making two plus two larger than four", and they smile, forgetting the collaboration part.
We play two kinds of games, but one of them takes brains, respect, patience, and trust. No wonder we'd rather fight and lose than collaborate and win.
Blame Charles Darwin for that.
Fungus
The zero sum game is the kind where you have only one prize and all contestants fight to get it. It is a game where the winner takes it all and all the other players lose. The kind of game we are used to seeing in the sports screen and in the movies. Most people use this metaphor to describe the business world. The hero skilfully steals the treasure, gets the girl, and lives happily ever after. Hail to the victor.
Big thrill. Very popular in some parts.
The other kind is less thrilling.
According to Hollywood, it's not interesting, and according to Wall Street, it's not worth the effort.
Collaborative games, are based on the idea that if the players work together, the prize can be made bigger, and there will be enough for all. Sir Thomas More, in his "Utopia" described an imaginary society based on collaboration.
Not possible, says Hollywood. It's a jungle out there.
Red in claw and tooth.
Ruth Benedict in "Patterns of Culture" describes a living society built on these principles. She coined the word "synergy" for this kind of collaboration.
The word stuck, but the idea did not. Most business management training in the last 20 years use this magic word: "Synergy...", they say, "is the art of making two plus two larger than four", and they smile, forgetting the collaboration part.
We play two kinds of games, but one of them takes brains, respect, patience, and trust. No wonder we'd rather fight and lose than collaborate and win.
Blame Charles Darwin for that.
Fungus
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